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just to stir things up on here i thought i would start a joke thread feel free to join in
A policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened ?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them ?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
sometimes my mind not only wanders it goes off on its own
Now that I'm fourty, I thought my number was up when I had a visit from the grim reaper. Luckily I managed to beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
Nutcase - Certified and Sectioned OUT OF LINE SINCE 59'
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TEXTING for over 40s
The kids have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the more matured.....
ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low GHA - Got Heartburn Again HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On? WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kickin In!
'PROUD TO HAVE BEEN A MARSHALL ON THE LGT 2007/2008/2009/2010'
'THE LGT IT'S WHAT MINI'S WERE MADE FOR'
"MINI'S HAVE FEELINGS TOO BE THEY OLD ONES OR NEW"
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Bubba: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later, he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad: For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Bubba
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad: Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Bubba
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